Last week, web hosting company Lunarpages increased disk space for Basic plan. Today, the company also increased monthly width for both Basic and Business as follows.
Basic Plan ($83.40 a year)
Disk space: 350 GB
Monthly bandwidth 2,500 GB => 3,500 GB
Business Plan ($263.40 a year)
Disk space: Unlimited
Monthly bandwidth 3,000 GB => 3,500 GB
Make sure you enter MHouse for ‘Coupon’ to get a $26 discount + 1 month extension.
Those are the latest jokes about Lunarpages webhosting company:
1.Is your website still running ?
A webmaster once siad to me : “It’s very hard to create a website, but it’s so easy to shut it down”.
It is so easy for Lunarpages to shut down your website. No matter how many years you spent, money you paid, hard work you did, they just can.
Mr Vladimer said : “Oh! We noticed that your website runs on our servers”, so he decided to shut it down.
2.The greatest of all times
Their great plans, their competetive prices, their quick responce and support…Lunarpages is the greatest of all times. When enciant egyptians built Pyramids, Lunar representatives was there offering a Pyramid plan. Lunar soldiers faught against the Natzies in the 2nd world war using the antinatzy plan. Lunar space plan helped landing on the moon during the sixties.
3.It’s not up to you !
It’s not up to you to chose what hosting plan is best to you.
Mr Vladimir himself once said : “We are sorry for the inconvinience”, and then he shut down a website. The website owner can’t afford a dedicated server.”You have to buy it !” said Mr Vladimer. Lunarpages does not care for the poor.
4.How Lunarpages Faces Attacks !
They face attacks by shutting down websites
haha
Mr Vladimir Putin himself – as it turns out that he works for Lunarpages – said : “Hey ! We have to shut down your website because,,, maby,,, someone is trying to attack it !”
:roflmao:
5.We Lunarpages have decided to rename our company into Jesuspages !
No more adult content ! Halalooooya
6.They collect garbages too !
Lunarpages system administrators like to sneack on our websites ! from time to time they login secretely into your website like night theives, sneack on your files, sniff your database, collect sesitive data then sneack out !
They enjoy doing that.
Mr Vladimer said : “We have a copy of every email sent by your website on file !”. They collect garbages too !
7.Advice to avoid server loads
The shared hosting offered by Lunarpages is realy a blast !
If you are a former Lunarpages client, you might have noticed that their servers are always loaded. Nerly 99% offline time is garateed by Lunarpages due to server loads. Please keep your files to the minimum. You need to be careful not to upload JPG images, instead you are adviced to convert to GIF !
haha
Here are the latest hilarious jokes about Lunarpages webhosting :
1. Lunarpages Domain For After Life !
Lunarpages do simpathy with people having deadly illnesses. They have their own free helth care program. They even offer them : “A Domain For After Life !”. After they pass away they can still maintain their rights.
2. Lunarpages Anonymous domain registration
Good news for the outlaws ! With the anonymous domain registration offered by Lunarpages you can easily hide your identity from the police.
Just do it and we – The Lunarpages – take the blame for you.
In cases your anonymous website hits hard, they deny you.
Mr.Vladimer said : “Because your domain is anonymous, you never existed”. The poor webmaster is now suffering from multy personality disorder !
3. Lunarpages Lunched a TV station !
The lunarpages exagitive manager is a big fan of Fashion TV…So he woke up this morning and said “We love Lunar TV !”
4. Lunarpages Loans !
After a huge discouns racing, the Lunarpages hosting plans prices hit the bottom of (0). The exagitive manager of Lunarpages offered loans ! You may get Lunarpages loans coupons from any market or store nearby.
5. Lunarpages Unlimited Storage
Google was very intemitated by the Lunarpages unlimited storage and bandwidth slogan so they decided to get their own webhosting plan up and move it all.
6. Lunarpages Support tickets
Lunarpages hires more that 1500 tecknicians, about 1491 are for support tickets !
Support tickets does not requier too much knowledge . you can apply for a job for Lunarpages support team if you have ticket skills. A Lunarpages tecknician once responded to a support ticket by a customer claiming his own account login saying : “You bet !”
Alright here’s a new one about the Lunarpages’s reviews :
7. A former Lunarpages client wrote in his review : “Lunarpages Sucks !”.
A representative of Lunarpages called him and offered a abride, the former client adjusted his review to “Lunarpages Ducks!”.
The representative called back and asked to change again, offering more brides.
The former client adjusted his review to “Lunarpages F..cks!”.
No matter how you describe Lunarpages. It still the same !
8. here’s a new one :
If you ever decided to host your PHP based website with Lunarpages, be sure to read the PHPinfo carefully because you may have to set :
allow_lunarpages_to_collect_garbages = false
hahaha
9. Here’s a new one about how Lunarpages disturb thier clients :
A former website owner hosted on Lunarpages was arguing -all the time- with a Lunarpages support assistant to keep his website alive :
“You Lunarpages dont let me take a rest !” he said. “I can’t sleep at night wondering if my website is still running… They bother me with hundreds of system messages, tens of suspentions, southands of billing receipts, and after all I wake up to find my website down !”
Later, the Lunarpages support assistant passed away. The website owner attended his fumeral and said on his soul “Now I may rest in peace !”
10. Her’s a new one on Lunarpages (keep this threed alive):
After fiew years of posting this thread, one of the Lunarpages staff was searching the web for bad reviews against his company – Lunarpages – so he found this thread and he wrote : “Please provide your support ticket number and we aill be happy to assist you !”
Lunarpages.com
>They have their own free health care program. They even offer them : “A Domain For After Life !”
GGGGG… That’s a nice joke. Thanks.